Post by stoneclaw and the crazy cats on May 29, 2005 1:51:11 GMT -5
Once upon a time there lived a woman
who had a
maddening passion for baked beans. She
loved them but
unfortunately they had always had a very
embarrassing
and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a guy and fell in
love. When it
became apparent that they would marry she
thought to
herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man,
he would
never go for this carrying on."
So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave
up beans.
Some months later her car broke down on the
way home
from work. Since she lived in the country
she called
her husband and told him that she would be
late
because she had to walk home.
On her way she passed a small diner and the
odor of
the baked beans was more than she could
stand. Since
she still had miles to walk, she figured
that she
would walk off any ill effects by the time
she reached
home. So, she stopped at the diner and
before she knew
it, she had consumed three large orders of
baked
beans. All the way home she putt-putted.
And upon
arriving home she felt reasonably sure she
could control it.
Her husband seemed excited to see her and
exclaimed
delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise
for dinner
tonight." He then blindfolded her and led
her to her
chair at the table. She seated herself and
just as he
>>was about to remove the blindfold >from his
wife, the
telephone rang. He made her promise not to
touch the
blindfold until he returned. He then went to
answer
the phone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still
affecting her and the pressure was becoming
almost
unbearable, so while her husband was out of
the room
she seized the opportunity, shifted her
weight to one
leg and let it go. It was not only loud,
but it
smelled like a fertilizer truck running
over a skunk
in front of pulpwood mill. She took her
napkin and
fanned the air around her vigorously.
Then, she shifted to the other cheek and
ripped three
>>more,which reminded her of cooked cabbage.
Keeping her
ears tuned to the conversation in the other
room, she
went on like this for another ten minutes.
When the
phone farewells signaled the end of her
freedom, she
fanned the air a few more times with her
> napkin,placed
it on her lap and folded her hands upon it,
smiling
contentedly to herself. She was the picture
of
innocence when her husband returned,
apologizing
for taking so long, he asked her if she
peeked, and
she assured him that she had not. At this
point, he
removed the blindfold, and she was
surprised!!
There were twelve dinner guests seated
around the
table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!
sorry for thw weird spaceing. i got it from an email my sister sent me.
who had a
maddening passion for baked beans. She
loved them but
unfortunately they had always had a very
embarrassing
and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a guy and fell in
love. When it
became apparent that they would marry she
thought to
herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man,
he would
never go for this carrying on."
So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave
up beans.
Some months later her car broke down on the
way home
from work. Since she lived in the country
she called
her husband and told him that she would be
late
because she had to walk home.
On her way she passed a small diner and the
odor of
the baked beans was more than she could
stand. Since
she still had miles to walk, she figured
that she
would walk off any ill effects by the time
she reached
home. So, she stopped at the diner and
before she knew
it, she had consumed three large orders of
baked
beans. All the way home she putt-putted.
And upon
arriving home she felt reasonably sure she
could control it.
Her husband seemed excited to see her and
exclaimed
delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise
for dinner
tonight." He then blindfolded her and led
her to her
chair at the table. She seated herself and
just as he
>>was about to remove the blindfold >from his
wife, the
telephone rang. He made her promise not to
touch the
blindfold until he returned. He then went to
answer
the phone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still
affecting her and the pressure was becoming
almost
unbearable, so while her husband was out of
the room
she seized the opportunity, shifted her
weight to one
leg and let it go. It was not only loud,
but it
smelled like a fertilizer truck running
over a skunk
in front of pulpwood mill. She took her
napkin and
fanned the air around her vigorously.
Then, she shifted to the other cheek and
ripped three
>>more,which reminded her of cooked cabbage.
Keeping her
ears tuned to the conversation in the other
room, she
went on like this for another ten minutes.
When the
phone farewells signaled the end of her
freedom, she
fanned the air a few more times with her
> napkin,placed
it on her lap and folded her hands upon it,
smiling
contentedly to herself. She was the picture
of
innocence when her husband returned,
apologizing
for taking so long, he asked her if she
peeked, and
she assured him that she had not. At this
point, he
removed the blindfold, and she was
surprised!!
There were twelve dinner guests seated
around the
table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!
sorry for thw weird spaceing. i got it from an email my sister sent me.